The Toaster


I’ve been writing one or two longer stories, none of which I feel confident enough about to post here, so as an aside I’ve felt inspired to write a piece based on this blog that I came across:

All the pieces are based on photographs of objects that people email to the writer.

The Toaster

I’m woken again by the harsh glare of the halogen bulbs overhead. Thankfully I have a few minutes to come to my senses as she always reaches for the kettle first. The morning is my busiest time of day; I have to work hard, but that’s what I’m good at. I take pride in toasting evenly on both sides, churning out round after round of hot breakfast items on demand.

It must be nearly Easter. The tall lady is loading me with hot cross buns. I hate hot cross buns, and teacakes, fruit loaf. They’re all the same to me. Those sultanas always fall off and get burned into hard black pebble-like obstructions that wedge themselves into my filaments and clutter my crumb tray with their charred corpses. Then they end up setting off the smoke alarms and everyone blames me! She’ll have me upside down over the sink, shaking me for all I’m worth. I’m not designed to cope with that sort of abuse. It’s demanding living with a family of four. Give me a nice retired couple who prefer Weetabix any day.

She shows me some affection from time to time. Once a week she rinses my crumb tray and polishes my reflective chrome sides. She likes to make sure there are no smears, no grease splatters. Not like him. He’s always in a hurry. Once he dropped his car keys into me on his way out to work- I’ve never heard such language. I released them as quickly as I could in response to his vigorous prodding at my innards with a table knife. He’ll be the death of me one day.


4 thoughts on “The Toaster

  1. I really liked this – it’s fun to read (and was, I suspect, fun to write?) and gave me some smiles. I’m on a very long and very tedious IT architecture course this week so this was just what I needed on my tea break…

    Some very good lines – particularly liked “Give me a nice retired couple who prefer Weetabix any day” and the charred blackened corpses of dried fruit was well observed!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks Nik, its not the usual sort of thing I write, but yes, a bit of light relief from time to time! IT architecture.. can’t imagine what that might be but doesn’t sound like much fun. Glad it made you smile 🙂


    1. Let’s just say this course is making me very glad I have writing as a hobby 🙂 Nice to have a change of pace or a break from your “usual” writing – I’m still trying to work out what my usual is!

      Keep going – and don’t lose heart with your longer pieces

      Liked by 1 person

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