The Final Straw

Happy Wednesday folks.

Apparently today is the first day of the meteorological summer (as opposed to the astronomical summer which starts on the 21st June). Not that the British weather seems to recognise that fact…

Anyway, here is another non-victorious Ad Hoc Flash Fiction entry. I personally like things to be left semi-ambiguous in stories (although there is clearly a line which can be crossed at which point the whole thing becomes meaningless drivel, but I hope this story doesn’t come into that category). Let me know what you think of this one.

*

Something sharp was poking me. It awoke me from my daydream in which I was rolling in a meadow of lush green grass, crushing the thick stems beneath my back and inhaling the wondrous scent of springtime.

I looked at the ground beneath my feet; dry, dusty and red with brick dust. The harsh sun beat down on my brow. He was jabbing my behind with a pointed stick, urging me ever forwards as was his habit. Slowly, I resumed my journey up the steep, rocky path that led towards the city where my burden of bricks would finally be offloaded.

He poked me for the last time as we neared the hairpin. Then, it was a matter of only a few sidesteps that forced him over the edge, down the side of the hillside to the rocks below. This beast would be burdened no more.

(Photo courtesy of pixabay.com)

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8 thoughts on “The Final Straw

  1. Nice to see you got your “failure” post in before mine this week haha! I really like this – especially the final paragraph and conclusion. I prefer it to the story that won this week if that’s any consolation!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Same here! It’s never one I vote for! Mine was all about a runner wanting to kill a Lycra clad personal trainer after a session of hill sprints. Funnily enough I wrote it the evening after hill sprints 🙂

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  2. I like it! I like the way you start off assuming it’s about a person, but then realise it’s a beast of burden. And I could sympathise with the poor creature when it tipped its driver over the edge! You are very good at telling stories from unusual points of view. What was the prompt?

    Like

      1. Sorry for jumping in on another thread but I hadn’t noticed the picture when first reading it and it was clear to me regardless – as Sian commented you start off thinking “person” and then it twists nicely.

        Liked by 1 person

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